Dad's Glasses part 2

So I'm in the back seat of my parent's car riding to work this morning when my father begins to explain why his glasses no longer have a spool of scotch tape wrapped around the bridge. It turns out that last night Dad got it into his head that what his glasses needed was superglue. And of course it could not wait so he did it right away.

I'm sure he was careful. I'm sure he laid copious amounts of paper on the table so as not to spill glue all over the place. I'm sure he had appropriate lighting and he probably even had special tools besides to aid in his project. What he didn't have was patience.

The way Dad tells it you would think that he immediately picked up the glued glasses and put them to his face, but I'd like to think that he waited at least a minute or two for the glue to dry. I don't wish to speculate. Anyway, he said that he put the glasses on and glue just started pouring down the lenses. It's a wonder he didn't glue the damn things to his face.

My father did not panic, however. He did what anyone else might do, and what I will caution you all against doing right now. He very calmly ran the glasses under water to wash away the glue.

Ok. Superglue is not the same as Elmers, which some children eat. Here's a bit of trivia that may someday save your glasses. The catalyst for most kinds of superglue is.... water. That means you pour the glue where you want it and the moisture in the air speeds the drying process up. That is why superglue might stay wet for hours on a dry piece of paper but as soon as you put your moist and oily little finger on it the paper dries right to you and you have glue on your skin for several days.

So then Dad had glue drippings permanently dripping down his glasses. So he brilliantly told my mother to do whatever she could to get it off; it didn't matter if she scratched them because he couldn't see out of them anyway. So my mom got a knife and began to scratch off the glue and gouge the lenses in the process.

Note number 2 that may someday save your glasses: Most superglues can be removed with solvent. It is a special chemical designed to make glue "let go."

"So," said Dad as we drove down one of the busiest roads in Atlanta, "I really can't see anything."

"So why didn't you just let Mom drive?"

"Are you kidding?" he asked. "I want to make it to Christmas."

Ok, the last two lines didn't happen, but he really did tell me as we drove down Peachtree Industrial Boulevard that he couldn't see anything.