Mega Shirt

I have one of my favorite Star Wars shirts on today, so I am hoping to get a lot of stuff done. I've never really believed in lucky clothes or lucky anything really, but perhaps that is my problem. Perhaps if I did believe in this shirt it really would be lucky and I really would be able to get a lot of work done. I'm sure that even if I did believe in the shirt the whole concept would be psycho-somatic; that my believing in the shirt would lead me to believe that by wearing the shirt there was no way I wouldn't get stuff done and that by believing stuff would definitely be getting done I would be removing from my brain the stress of the potential that stuff would not be getting done which would free up my mind to being creative and constructive which would inspire me to work and therefore stuff would be getting done, thus further enforcing my belief in the shirt that helps me to get things done.

Unfortunately I don't believe this shirt holds any lucky powers to help me get stuff done. It's not even that cool a Star Wars shirt. It's only my favorite Star Wars shirt by default. It's my only Star Wars shirt. My really cool Star Wars shirt had way too many holes in it and I had to finally admit to myself that it was no longer wearable. This Star Wars shirt is from Phantom Menace and Phantom Menace was toilet fodder.

In fact, this shirt makes me so angry because of it's lack of magic and disparity of magic in the movie which this shirt represents, that I am feeling angrily inspired to rebel against this shirt. I think I might have an idea that needs cultivating. Stupid shirt. Stupid uninspiring shirt that has, by its total banality, provoked me to inspiring myself.

UPDATE:
Two hours later and I haven't accomplished much of anything. Except hating this shirt. I have done that about seven times.

UPDATE:
Wow, half the day is gone and this shirt hasn't done a thing for me. In fact, I may have been the laziest I've been in years. Episode 1 sucks.

UPDATE:
Maybe I need some caffeine.

UPDATE:
I just went to a meeting. This was not, however, a stroke of inspiration. The meeting was planned weeks ago. On top of that I was totally superfluous in that meeting. I might as well have been sleeping. Hopefully the caffeine will kick in and I'll be jumping all over the constructivity.

UPDATE:
Ok, I totally got two ideas today and I actually worked on one. So I was productive. However, while I was working on it I got heartburn, which Cokes tend to do to me. Therefore, it probably was the caffeine that was the cause of my inspiration, not the Episode 1 (fourth string) Star Wars shirt. But it is impossible to say, which makes me even madder at this stupid shirt. Darth Maul is awesome. Mace Windu is awesome. Young Obi-Wan is awesome. Jar Jar = lame. Anakin = lame.

Warning! The Lord decided to stay at home this week!

This past Sunday our lay-minister did our sermon. Normally he is quite good, if a bit conservative, but this week he was off. He made mis-statements and he said the opposite of what he meant. It wasn't horrible, but you could tell he was unrehearsed. Anyway, during the benediction, which is where the minister essentially says an ecouraging farewell blessing, he said, "Go now knowing that you have left the presence of the Lord and the fellowship of believers."

What what what?

I've left the presence of the Lord? Can you really do that? Can God choose NOT to be omnipresent? He must be able to. Otherwise He wouldn't be all powerful. So did God stay home this week? I guess so. God must've gotten a Nintendo Wii for Father's Day and He decided to stay home and play tennis.

I'm ever so slightly worried by this. On the one hand the Lord will be super relaxed and happy because of His awesome new gift. On the other hand, if Jesus beats Him in a game we could be in for some shit. I hope God's a good sport.

My shirt

I'm wearing a white shirt today. But underneath it I have on a peach shirt. All of my white T-shirts were dirty. So I have this orange glow about me. I wore an orange tie today to try and throw off anyone who might otherwise notice the glow. I don't think it will work.

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would let you know some very important things.

In the last week I messed up the settings on my firewall and now I cannot host games on Battlenet. This bothers me.

In the last week I had the pleasure of sitting in a $1300.00 chair. It was soooooo nice. A guy I work with is in charge of decorating the Department offices around the state. So these furniture companies give him these chairs to try out. He'll keep them for several months and decide if he likes them, or if they are worth it. So you cynics out there know, there is no way in hell the government could afford to buy everyone a $1300.00 chair. We won't even splurge for 1 such chair. But I got to sit in it for about 10 minutes. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. If I had unlimited amounts of money... and there were no sick children... or starving children... or sick and starving animals... and all else was right with the world... and I had cable, I'd totally get me one of those chairs.

In the last week I gave my kids away. This was a great choice! I should have made it ages ago. I gave them to my in-laws. My wife is having problems with this decision. She keeps calling them up and talking to them. I try to explain to her that she needs to let go. And last night I over-heard her talking to her mother about when we will be "getting them back." I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means.

Actually, a week without the kids has been very quite, very peaceful, and very clean. But very lonely.

Bad Movie... Bad!

So I was in Ingles buying wine coolers the other night for a cheap, depressing buzz (I hate beer), when I saw these movie bundles. For $10 you can buy 13 movies of a particular genre. I got the 13 Swords and Sorcery Classics movies and 13 Horrorrific Classics. I knew they would suck. I was just hoping they would suck in that fun, "Holy crap this really, really sucks!" kinda way.

Well, last night I watched Blade Master, not the 2005 movie, the 1984 movie. Oh, was it bad. So, so deliciously bad. On the Good scale it rated a 2 out of 10. On the Bad scale it rated a 7. The scales are directly opposite. If you watch it, the two best scenes to look for are when Ator is tied up and watching the innocents get killed (I don't think he closes his mount for 5 minutes) and when he fights the giant snake.

Oh it was good. You're moving right along in this less than wonderful depiction of barbarian times when out of the blue (pun intended) Ator is flying a hang glider. He tells his team to get into the castle through a secret intrance, which takes a max of 30 minutes, then suddenly he's up in the air. Now Ator is a intellectual barbarian of sorts. He doesn't wear a lot of clothes. So there were no secret pockets in which he could have stored said hang glider. Persumably he built it from scratch, he cut the bamboo and tatch, strung it together with leather, and made the wings out of leather from an animal he must have killed, skinned and cured. All in the time it took is party to get inside the castle.

I highly recommend for a good hour and a half of really bad movie watching. See it with a friend.