Do you agree?

I need everyone's opinion on this, please.

I like Christmas music. When I was a child Christmas was my favorite time of year. My parents did it up huge. Our house was a winter wonderland. And, of course, from Thanksgiving day until the new year Christmas music was all that we heard. I know Christmas music. I know the words, I know the rhymes, I know the stories. I have heard the old and the new. I know Christmas music.

And it is my opinion, and please let me know if you agree or disagree, that the song:

Christmas Shoes

by the band:

New Song

is absolutely the worst Christmas song ever to have been written, ever. It may be one of the worst songs ever. It is horrible and horribly melodramtic. Not to mention horrible and bad. Every time I hear that song I cringe. Dear God, please this Christmas deliver me from having to hear that song again.

Ouch!

Three weeks since my last entry. Ouch. You'd think I was married to this blog.

No laugh?

Fine.

Sorry about the long wait, for the four of you who actually read this blog. I've been stalling out on posting because I've been terribly distracted. I have distractions. It is my tragic flaw. I almost never finish anything because I distract myself away from it. I went to a psychoanalyst about this and other issues about two years ago. His basic comment was, "Yeah, that's bad." It cost me a great deal of money to have him basically agree with me.

See, distracted again.

All this is to say that I am pretty sure I'm going to end my Third [adult swim] Campaign, unceremoniously. Sorry. I may revisit the Ambrosia story at a later time, but for now I have to set it aside.

My underwear

Today I had but one pair of clean underwear left. The choice is a no brainer: wear the undies and do some laundry tonight. Except when I donned these patterned boxers I found that the elastic waist band had seen its last effective day, and it was now refusing to hold.

No problem, I thought. Once I get my pants on and my shirt tucked in and my belt fastened I won't even notice it. Well I noticed it. I looked into the bathroom and saw my former pair balled up in the floor, probably wet from shower drippings. I checked the drawer again and confirmed that this was my last clean pair.

So now I sit at my desk with quitter underwear. I used to believe there was nothing worse than a sock that had lost its will to stay up on the leg; a quitter. Now I know that the lazy sock has a lazy cousin. In case you have not had the opportunity to wear lazy underwear let me inform you that it is less than comfortable. Every step I take I think my pants are falling down.

Why I didn't throw these away the last time I will never know.

A mute point

In my job, which I do not love, I was just now making an argument that I believed was sound. Alas, I was wrong, for I was told by a member of our Policy department that my point was mute.

I did not realize a point could be anything but mute. I would very much like to see a point that was not mute.

Well, it is no matter. My point is mute. And now so am I.

colon

I think everyone should have to register their digestive systems with the Department of Defense. I just went to the bathroom and I believe, 100%, that there are some people I work with whose "exhaust" would be considered weapons grade.

Fainting in the ailes

Have you ever heard these stories about people fainting at horror movies? Am I the only one who thinks this is a load of crap. I mean, consider all of the people that visit these movies. Somewhere, someone is bound to faint. The PR people just have to wait for the report. They probably already have the press release written. "4 people fainted accross America at the opening of latest horror flick." I wouldn't be surprised to find out that people faint in every movie. 17 Children Faint at Opening of Disney's Lion King 8 Movie.

If anything the ridiculous wait times would cause me to faint. If I'm spending most of an afternoon waiting to buy a ticket with my knees locked and my only sustenance an abnormally large back of Skittles and a Coke, fainting isn't a possibility it's a requirement of Newton's 1st law.

And these multiple faintings are just as easily explained. One person steps into the theater and like a clumsy buffoon he trips and falls down; fainter number one. The person behind him wasn't watching and she trips over him; fainter number two. This continues for three or four people and suddenly four people have fainted at a horror flick that hasn't even begun. That must be one scary damn movie.