I spoke with Rebecca about my Part-Time Quit© idea. She hated it and loved it.
On the one hand she is an employer. She manages a veterinary hospital. People are constantly trying to finagle schedule changes so they can have more time off or less time off. People want to work morning when they are supposed to work evenings and vice versa.
On the other hand, every time someone tries to part-time quit© she wants to part-time quit© herself.
Employee: Rebecca, I've decided to part-time quit©. I don't want to work Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays anymore.
Rebecca: Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't process that request.
Employee: But why?
Rebecca: Well, I part-time quit© just a moment before you did. I'm currently off the clock.
Employee: What hours did you part-time quit©?
Rebecca: I part-time quit© all hours where I have to deal with bull-shit.
Showing posts with label New words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New words. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Thursday, July 02, 2009
A new new word or two
Definitivity - the state of being definite, usually in relation to something that doesn't matter.
Example:
Man 1: I was told definitively that the meeting was in the conference room.
Man 2: Well, it isn't. You should be wary of such definitivity.
Or:
Man: You know, sky blue? Like the sky.
Woman: Ironically the sky is not really sky blue. It's an azure.
Man: I wish I lived in such a state of definitivity.
See? It's easy.
However, do not confuse DEFINITIVITY with DEFINATIVITY.
Definativity - (adj) the state of definitely looking like the Nativity from the gospels.
Example:
I thought the burn on my toast had a high degree of definativity, but my minister disagreed.
More often it is seen as an adverb:
The trash cans were arranged definativityly, with the recycling as the manger and the mailbox as a shepherd.
Example:
Man 1: I was told definitively that the meeting was in the conference room.
Man 2: Well, it isn't. You should be wary of such definitivity.
Or:
Man: You know, sky blue? Like the sky.
Woman: Ironically the sky is not really sky blue. It's an azure.
Man: I wish I lived in such a state of definitivity.
See? It's easy.
However, do not confuse DEFINITIVITY with DEFINATIVITY.
Definativity - (adj) the state of definitely looking like the Nativity from the gospels.
Example:
I thought the burn on my toast had a high degree of definativity, but my minister disagreed.
More often it is seen as an adverb:
The trash cans were arranged definativityly, with the recycling as the manger and the mailbox as a shepherd.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Please don't overstand
I have been thinking about the word understand. What does it mean, exactly? I mean, it clearly means to comprehend. But why do we say "I understand?" What exactly do we stand under? I suppose if we are "catching" someone's meaning it might be more easily caught if we stood directly under it. Much like a fly ball. Or if they were dangling precariously from a window or tree we might stand under them to catch them as they fall. This example seems a little more fitting since most of the time when someone is trying to explain themselves they seem to be going out on a limb.
The problem with this "understanding" of the term understand is it kind of presumes that you are about to catch them. But the word "understand" means that you have already caught them.
I looked up the word at www.dictionary.com. They didn't help much. It seems that no one really knows why we say I understand. Their best guess was that it really means to stand "with" them. Kind of like saying, "I'm with you." So somehow to understand really means to "stand along with." I will grant you that "I understand" is a much easier turn of phrase than, "I stand along side you" or "I'm standing with you."
Whatever. In my musing about the word understand I have created a new word:
OVERSTAND - to not understand.
Here I will use it in a sentence:
After much study I have decided that I overstand the etymology of the word understand.
Resumes Sent: 4
Stories Sent: 3
This week I sent Rumplestiltskin to Fantasy Magazine.
However, I had to deduct a story from Stories Sent because one of my previously sent stories was returned to me unopened. Frustrating.
Stories Rejected: 3
The problem with this "understanding" of the term understand is it kind of presumes that you are about to catch them. But the word "understand" means that you have already caught them.
I looked up the word at www.dictionary.com. They didn't help much. It seems that no one really knows why we say I understand. Their best guess was that it really means to stand "with" them. Kind of like saying, "I'm with you." So somehow to understand really means to "stand along with." I will grant you that "I understand" is a much easier turn of phrase than, "I stand along side you" or "I'm standing with you."
Whatever. In my musing about the word understand I have created a new word:
OVERSTAND - to not understand.
Here I will use it in a sentence:
After much study I have decided that I overstand the etymology of the word understand.
Resumes Sent: 4
Stories Sent: 3
This week I sent Rumplestiltskin to Fantasy Magazine.
However, I had to deduct a story from Stories Sent because one of my previously sent stories was returned to me unopened. Frustrating.
Stories Rejected: 3
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
More words
These aren't exactly "new words" so much as they are New Phrases.
When I woke up this morning I was very tired. I didn't want to be awake, but I was, and since I was, I was gonna have me some yogurt. So I went to the fridge and opened the yogurt drawer, but all of my yogurt was gone. All we had left was pudding snack packs. But when I read what kind it was I was taken aback. I know now that I misread it and that in my early morning haze I was not able to appreciate that I saw it wrong. But for a full minute or two I tried to comprehend why anyone would make a pudding flavored:
BUTTERCROTCH.
I don't ever want to know how one get's buttercrotch. I'm sure that it is uncomfortable. And I am doubly sure that it is not an appropriate snack pack flavor.
Then this weekend my daughter caught her aunt saying to word "ass." So, being the good girl that she is, she told Aunt Mimi that ass was a bad word and that she shouldn't ever say it again. Instead she should say "DIRTY DONKEY."
I don't know about you, but to me Dirty Donkey sounds far naughtier than ass. Dirty Donkey sounds like a forbidden dance from the Kama Sutra. Doing the Dirty Donkey, I'm quite certain, is a good way to get Buttercrotch.
Resumes Sent: 4
Stories Sent: 2
My suckitude: 3
When I woke up this morning I was very tired. I didn't want to be awake, but I was, and since I was, I was gonna have me some yogurt. So I went to the fridge and opened the yogurt drawer, but all of my yogurt was gone. All we had left was pudding snack packs. But when I read what kind it was I was taken aback. I know now that I misread it and that in my early morning haze I was not able to appreciate that I saw it wrong. But for a full minute or two I tried to comprehend why anyone would make a pudding flavored:
BUTTERCROTCH.
I don't ever want to know how one get's buttercrotch. I'm sure that it is uncomfortable. And I am doubly sure that it is not an appropriate snack pack flavor.
Then this weekend my daughter caught her aunt saying to word "ass." So, being the good girl that she is, she told Aunt Mimi that ass was a bad word and that she shouldn't ever say it again. Instead she should say "DIRTY DONKEY."
I don't know about you, but to me Dirty Donkey sounds far naughtier than ass. Dirty Donkey sounds like a forbidden dance from the Kama Sutra. Doing the Dirty Donkey, I'm quite certain, is a good way to get Buttercrotch.
Resumes Sent: 4
Stories Sent: 2
My suckitude: 3
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
New Word
Conversatiated - to have reached your fill of conversation, usually in a positive sense, so that you no longer feel a need to socialize for the present.
Conversatiation - when two or more people converse, not for personal growth or the development of a relationship, but simply satisfy a need to talk.
These definitions are really a weak attempt at beefing up my posts before the end of the year. I'll never make the 100 mark. I have less than 24 hours and exactly 24 posts to post if I'm to make it.
Perhaps I'll put my resolutions for the new year up. That'll kill a post.
man, if the term 'to suck' hadn't already been invented I could invent it right now to describe myself.
Conversatiation - when two or more people converse, not for personal growth or the development of a relationship, but simply satisfy a need to talk.
These definitions are really a weak attempt at beefing up my posts before the end of the year. I'll never make the 100 mark. I have less than 24 hours and exactly 24 posts to post if I'm to make it.
Perhaps I'll put my resolutions for the new year up. That'll kill a post.
man, if the term 'to suck' hadn't already been invented I could invent it right now to describe myself.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
money
Ok, most of you people probably already know that I'm not a big cussworder. I don't think I've ever cussed on this blog. You all probably also know that I'm not a great big liar-pants.
Anyway, today I feel justified in saying wtf?
1. About ten months ago I was promoted by my then boss to Ruby's position. When I inquired as to what my new duties were I was told that I didn't have any. I was told that I was too busy and that Ruby's job was going to be handled by someone else in the office.
2. About eight months ago my boss decided he was going to resign and come back to work as a contractor. And the job he was going to do as a contractor was my job.
3. After the meeting -that all of my co-workers attended- where I was told my job was going to be done by my recently formered boss I was called into my once-but-no-longer boss's office so that he could tell me that my new job was Ruby's old job; the one I had been told I would not have to do.
4. After I was given Ruby's shit job my once-upon-a-boss ask me exactly what I do. He was, after all, going to be doing it hence.
5. After my ex-boss regained his composure at learning exactly how much crap he had piled on to me over the years he decided that he was really only going to take one of my duties and that I could keep the rest. Along with Ruby's old job.
6. About six months ago, after my post-boss told me that I would still be doing all of my old duties along with all of Ruby's duties, my new boss informed me that I would also be doing Janet's duties.
7. About two months ago my new boss hired a new supervisor over me and two new co-workers to handle the overflow of work I had been given. To date they have taken one and a half of my duties.
8. Last night I kinda got in trouble for running over a toad in my driveway. I didn't do it on purpose, but my wife really loves when we come home and she sees it there. She's kinda into frogs and toads. It isn't job related, but I felt bad.
TODAY: My new boss, new supervisor and two new co-workers are meeting in the conference room for like the tenth time without me. What the hell are they talking about? They are f-ing supposed to be taking my f-ing duties? How the f- can I not be invited to any f-ing meeting they can possibly f-ing conceive of? WTF!
CURRENT MOOD: Not too confident about the security of my job... in a recession... with gas at $3.72/gallon.
New Word
*cussworder - one who cusses
org. cussworder is an Americanization of the British CURSEWORDER and from the medieval German die curseworderen, which comes from the Latin word: shitmouth.
**note: you know, based on the title of this post I can understand why one might think that I was going to talk about money ANYWHERE in it. I can only assume that at one point I was going to tie this post into a money discussion. For the life of me I can't figure out how I was going to do that. I think the past me was smarter than the current me. My intellect is like Merlin.
Anyway, today I feel justified in saying wtf?
1. About ten months ago I was promoted by my then boss to Ruby's position. When I inquired as to what my new duties were I was told that I didn't have any. I was told that I was too busy and that Ruby's job was going to be handled by someone else in the office.
2. About eight months ago my boss decided he was going to resign and come back to work as a contractor. And the job he was going to do as a contractor was my job.
3. After the meeting -that all of my co-workers attended- where I was told my job was going to be done by my recently formered boss I was called into my once-but-no-longer boss's office so that he could tell me that my new job was Ruby's old job; the one I had been told I would not have to do.
4. After I was given Ruby's shit job my once-upon-a-boss ask me exactly what I do. He was, after all, going to be doing it hence.
5. After my ex-boss regained his composure at learning exactly how much crap he had piled on to me over the years he decided that he was really only going to take one of my duties and that I could keep the rest. Along with Ruby's old job.
6. About six months ago, after my post-boss told me that I would still be doing all of my old duties along with all of Ruby's duties, my new boss informed me that I would also be doing Janet's duties.
7. About two months ago my new boss hired a new supervisor over me and two new co-workers to handle the overflow of work I had been given. To date they have taken one and a half of my duties.
8. Last night I kinda got in trouble for running over a toad in my driveway. I didn't do it on purpose, but my wife really loves when we come home and she sees it there. She's kinda into frogs and toads. It isn't job related, but I felt bad.
TODAY: My new boss, new supervisor and two new co-workers are meeting in the conference room for like the tenth time without me. What the hell are they talking about? They are f-ing supposed to be taking my f-ing duties? How the f- can I not be invited to any f-ing meeting they can possibly f-ing conceive of? WTF!
CURRENT MOOD: Not too confident about the security of my job... in a recession... with gas at $3.72/gallon.
New Word
*cussworder - one who cusses
org. cussworder is an Americanization of the British CURSEWORDER and from the medieval German die curseworderen, which comes from the Latin word: shitmouth.
**note: you know, based on the title of this post I can understand why one might think that I was going to talk about money ANYWHERE in it. I can only assume that at one point I was going to tie this post into a money discussion. For the life of me I can't figure out how I was going to do that. I think the past me was smarter than the current me. My intellect is like Merlin.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Wicked Awesome
My hair is wicked awesome today.
Most of you probably don't think hair makes a difference, but you are wrong. My hair, today, is Master of the Universe hair. And yes, that is taking into consideration that I am balding. If my hair were to fight your hair today I'm not sure you would survive. You've been warned.
I haven't written to the blog in a while. I apologize. Here are some things that have transpired since my last post that I have thought about posting, but... I don't know... I've been lazy I guess.
Sprinkles
So I was in the car with my kids and it was hot outside. We had the windows rolled up and the air conditioner on, waiting for my wife, who was in the drug store getting some medicine for my daughter. Then my son, who is 5, says, "Daddy, can I roll the window down?"
"No, Cole," I said. "It's hot outside. I want to keep the cool air in."
There was a pause and a sigh of frustration. "But I have something I want to throw outside."
"Well, I'm sorry, Cole," I said importantly, "But that would be littering. We don't throw stuff out the window just because we don't want to deal with it."
I was teaching him a life lesson, see. And to follow through with that lesson I was going to show him how to be the big person and deal with garbage. "Why don't you give it to me and I'll throw it away for you."
So I stuck my hand into the back seat and Cole gave me the thing. When I pulled my hand back and surveyed the item in my palm I asked, "Cole, what is this?"
"It's a sprinkle," he said.
Apparently "sprinkle," in Cole language, means booger.
"Ok, Cole," I said. "From now on you can throw sprinkles out the window."
That's it.
Hmm. Well, I guess that's it. It's been kind of a boring week. That might also explain why I haven't written much. Just my wicked awesome hair and sprinkles.
Boobs
Oh yeah. There were boobs. Apparently there is a Spanish singer from Spain named Alaska. And apparently she posed nude to protest something or other.
Anyway, I read one of those deep probing Yahoo articles about it to inform myself. I didn't look at the picture, though. I'm not really into that sort of thing. I am more politically minded than that. I was interested in the message this activist singer was trying to convey. And that message was: boobies, ass and boobies. And ass.
It is important, sexy women of the world, to be politically active. I don't know why more good looking women can be so activistic. Just last night my wife was protesting the fact that I hadn't taken out the garbage or done the dishes. I bet if she had been naked I'd have paid a lot more attention. (For future reference, Sweet-heart.)
PS. Activistic - having the quality of being good looking and naked and pretending that somehow your nudity is making a political difference.
PPS. The soap dispenser in the men's bathroom is empty. Someone get on that.
Most of you probably don't think hair makes a difference, but you are wrong. My hair, today, is Master of the Universe hair. And yes, that is taking into consideration that I am balding. If my hair were to fight your hair today I'm not sure you would survive. You've been warned.
I haven't written to the blog in a while. I apologize. Here are some things that have transpired since my last post that I have thought about posting, but... I don't know... I've been lazy I guess.
Sprinkles
So I was in the car with my kids and it was hot outside. We had the windows rolled up and the air conditioner on, waiting for my wife, who was in the drug store getting some medicine for my daughter. Then my son, who is 5, says, "Daddy, can I roll the window down?"
"No, Cole," I said. "It's hot outside. I want to keep the cool air in."
There was a pause and a sigh of frustration. "But I have something I want to throw outside."
"Well, I'm sorry, Cole," I said importantly, "But that would be littering. We don't throw stuff out the window just because we don't want to deal with it."
I was teaching him a life lesson, see. And to follow through with that lesson I was going to show him how to be the big person and deal with garbage. "Why don't you give it to me and I'll throw it away for you."
So I stuck my hand into the back seat and Cole gave me the thing. When I pulled my hand back and surveyed the item in my palm I asked, "Cole, what is this?"
"It's a sprinkle," he said.
Apparently "sprinkle," in Cole language, means booger.
"Ok, Cole," I said. "From now on you can throw sprinkles out the window."
That's it.
Hmm. Well, I guess that's it. It's been kind of a boring week. That might also explain why I haven't written much. Just my wicked awesome hair and sprinkles.
Boobs
Oh yeah. There were boobs. Apparently there is a Spanish singer from Spain named Alaska. And apparently she posed nude to protest something or other.
Anyway, I read one of those deep probing Yahoo articles about it to inform myself. I didn't look at the picture, though. I'm not really into that sort of thing. I am more politically minded than that. I was interested in the message this activist singer was trying to convey. And that message was: boobies, ass and boobies. And ass.
It is important, sexy women of the world, to be politically active. I don't know why more good looking women can be so activistic. Just last night my wife was protesting the fact that I hadn't taken out the garbage or done the dishes. I bet if she had been naked I'd have paid a lot more attention. (For future reference, Sweet-heart.)
PS. Activistic - having the quality of being good looking and naked and pretending that somehow your nudity is making a political difference.
PPS. The soap dispenser in the men's bathroom is empty. Someone get on that.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Review - My reviews format
MY REVIEWS FORMAT:
A-
the first review I did I decided to not capitalize the first word of each sentence, unless it was a proper name. I think it gives character to the Reviews and sets them apart from my other writing, which is essentially grammatically flawless. however, it does make me look a bit lazy to the first time reader. and I keep having to go back and lowercasealize words that I instinctively capitalized, which is annoying.
THE WORD LOWERCASEALIZE:
A++
what a cool word. I totally just invented it. I looked it up at http://www.dictionary.com/ and it wasn't there. it probably will be in a couple of months, though, when people start using it because it is so cool.
A-
the first review I did I decided to not capitalize the first word of each sentence, unless it was a proper name. I think it gives character to the Reviews and sets them apart from my other writing, which is essentially grammatically flawless. however, it does make me look a bit lazy to the first time reader. and I keep having to go back and lowercasealize words that I instinctively capitalized, which is annoying.
THE WORD LOWERCASEALIZE:
A++
what a cool word. I totally just invented it. I looked it up at http://www.dictionary.com/ and it wasn't there. it probably will be in a couple of months, though, when people start using it because it is so cool.
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