Jokes on me, I guess

So I was on the elevator with a guy I don't know. I pressed the button for floor 6 and he pressed for floor 5.

Then we started chatting about the only thing you should ever chat about with people you do not know: the weather. Unless there is a pending tornado and/or you have some breaking news that might save a person's life or property it is one of the most boring topics you can discuss. Every time I talk about the weather with someone my mouth just goes on autopilot while my brain says, "What the crap am I saying? This is the stupidest conversation in the world." But then when I try and think of an alternative topic of conversation I realize that I don't know the first thing about the person with whom I am speaking. Which leads me to think about how I have very few friends with whom I can speak freely about anything at any time. Like 2. Ok, 1 really. And that makes me sad. And so I subsequently think, perhaps if I didn't put my mouth on autopilot when I chatted casually at work or in public I might actually meet people with common interests as I.

Ok, so I was in the elevator with this guy and I was saying something terrible like, "This past summer the weathermen got so bad at predicting that I actually started doing the opposite of what they suggested." Then I thought to myself, "This is awful, maybe now is a good time to branch out into casual conversation. But what should I talk about?

Before I could decide on a topic of conversation the guy with me said, "Is Field Services on floor 5?"

"No," I said, "It's floor 2." We had passed it.

Just then the door opened at floor five. Across the hall I saw an elevator going down, but the door was closing.

"Hey," I said, with some urgency, "There's one going down."

I leaped out of the elevator car I was in and ran across the hall with my arm outstretched to stop the doors from closing. What I didn't know was that once those elevator doors got within about 6 inches of being closed they shut pretty hard. The door slammed on my arm and I heard the bone snap. The pain was like a knife being jabbed into my arm. Finally the doors decided they couldn't close and they reopened. I turned around expecting to see a grateful man waiting to get on the down elevator. Instead I realized that he was still in the other elevator car and he was pointing at me.

"Ha ha!" he literally laughed as the doors closed, "You got off on the wrong floor!"

"Oh yeah," I thought to myself as my arm hung limp and floppy from my elbow, "That's why I don't talk to people."

I looked out the window and saw that against predictions it was pouring rain. Luckily I packed my umbrella just in case. Unfortunately I no longer had an arm to hold it.

ps. Ok, I didn't actually break my arm. But I did leap from the elevator to get a down car for this guy and he did laugh at me.