CAT ALARM CLOCKS
O for OUCH!
my wife's cat, Isis, decided at 7:30 am on Sunday that she wanted to be declawed. in the olden days, I was opposed to such things. I was under the impression that cats needed the defense, and I thought the process of declawing was mean. so then I got furniture and carpet, and suddenly cat rights seems thousands of dollars less important to me.
here is a lovely picture of how I started Sunday:
REVIEW:THE EMOTIONAL EFFECT THE PREVIOUS PICTURE WILL HAVE ON YOU
F -for it doesn't look painful enuF
when I first bolted up to attention that morning it was clear what had happened. Isis was high tailing it out of the room and all kinds of nick-nacks were falling to the ground. oh yeah, and my ankle hurt like a muther. she had used my ankle as a spring board to get on top of the entertainment center.
there weren't any marks, though. I thought she would get away with her crime for lack of evidence. then, little bit by little bit the blood started to fill in. and what the blood failed to fill in the pain made up for. actually, it didn't hurt so much as it burned and itched like a little devil.
Rebecca was totally unsympathetic. I barely mentioned the scratch twenty three times before she made it totally clear that she wanted me to shut up about it. she said, "I'm sorry sweetheart. It does look pretty bad." that sounds nice, but it was the way she said it... then she said, "Perhaps if you trimmed her nails like I asked you to."
oh, so that's how it's gonna be.
Anyway, here is how my wound actually felt:
Rebecca will be crying when I die of cat-scratch fever.
REVIEW:
MY PHOTOSHOPPING SKILLS
D
I know, I know.
7 comments:
How awful! You better make sure you start the series of rabies shots.
I HATE cats...clawed or declawed they are all nasssstttttyyyy.
Cat scratch fever. Funny.
Cats aren't that bad. If you can get past cleaning the litter box, stepping in hair balls, the sound of a cat yacking, the late-night wallering, the pissy attitude when you dare to punish them, the uncomfortable way they choose to clean themselves while you are eating and, of course, the scratching, then you can really get along well with them.
They're great at killing roaches.
We manage an apartment building and I'd much rather have a roach infestation than a cat infestation.
Dirty ol' pussies! hahahahaha!
(Although, now that I think of it, there are quite a few single mothers in the building...)
An additional comment. I had a tenant move out last week and when I went in to inspect and prepare her apartment for new tenants, there were magazine pictures of kitties and NAKED WOMEN everywhere. WHAT THE HELL?!?!
Double whammy pussy explosion!
I HATE CATS!
That is weird. And creepy. I wonder where one would find such a magazine.
Not me, of course.
I should clarify that the women and kittens were not in pictures together. I can only assume that they came from completely different magazines...I hope.
Oh. Nevermind.
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