Gas Woes

Holy crap. In case you don't believe the talk on the news about the South East's gas woes, let me tell you... BELIEVE IT!

Unless you heard it on Fox News. You shouldn't ever believe anything you hear on that station. If Fox News started reporting that I was a white man, I would stop believing it.

But yeah, there's not any gas down here. Actually, there is, but not much. I mean, I was able to get gas Friday night in my wife's car. But I had to wait in line for about 15 minutes. And I had to pay $3.99 a gallon. Then yesterday I filled my car up without waiting a bit. I did have to pay $4.09 a gallon, which hurt a bit, but I didn't have to wait.

Now, I will grant you that I don't live in Atlanta proper. I live in Gwinnett county. Our county only has about 1 million residents, so that small number might indicate why I was able to get gas. I'm sure inside Atlanta it is much worse. Of course, I work inside Atlanta and it does appear to be the same, but it probably isn't.

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Ok, all joking aside. There are lines at the pump. Friday night I did have to wait about 15 minutes for gas, which was surreal and unusual. And there are A LOT of stations that simply have no gas. And I have heard stories of people getting into fights over this, though I have not witnessed anything.

There is a gas shortgage, but there isn't a gas deficit.

If you don't wait until your gas light goes on, and you plan your gas search well, you should be able to get gas.

Here is my advice if you live in Georgia:

1. Think of all of the gas stations you know of, not just the ones where gas is cheepest, but all of them.

2. Plan a route that goes to all or most of these stations with minimal back-tracking.

3. Set your alarm for 2am and drive that route until you find a station that has gas and is open.

- Just kidding. Go out to get gas around 10 or 11pm, driving your route, until you find a station with gas. If you find none, DON'T WANDER. One of those stations will have gas tomorrow. Wake at 5:30ish and try again.

4. Be willing to pay 10 - 20 cents more per gallon. If you don't pay the extra money you will regret it. And tomorrow when you are on fumes you will wind up paying 50 cents more a gallon and you'll cuss out loud. Try explaining that to the kids.


Just don't be afraid to go out at night and get gas. Sure there are crazy people out at night, but when have you ever heard of a crazy person running out of gas? Never! That's because the 24 hour stations are empty. They don't have to wait in line.

Look, I've done the research and a majority of people who get gas at night are not abducted or assaulted by crazy people. It's over 50%.

Ok, fact check. I did just accuse Fox News of not being trust worthy, so I will come clean. I did not do any research on the number of people abducted or assaulted by crazy people while out at night getting gas. But I'm almost 50% certain of the fact that the number of people assault or abducted while getting gas at night by crazy people is under 50% is probably accurate. I will not go out on a limb and say the same thing about people who are assualted or abducted by non-crazy people while out at night getting gas. And I won't even mention the numbers of crazy people who are themselves abducted or assaulted by non-crazy and/or crazy people while out at night getting gas or some other fungible commodity whose availability fluctuates from time to time. There are just too many variables there.

Anyway, take heart. You may or may not be abducted and/or assaulted if you are not crazy and your attacker is crazy or not crazy. You need the gas, afterall.