So I had some sushi, which I love, and I got a fortune, with which I have a love hate relationship. I don't have a love hate relationship with these fortunes because sometimes they are bad. I have a love hate relationship with them because sometimes they are good. Very good even. But they never come true.
This past week, however, I opened my cookie and found a fortune that should never be given to someone who is slightly paranoid. My fortune read:
The truth will be revealed to you in time.
Well, dammit. That fortune says so much, without actually saying anything. Quite literally it says that the truth will be revealed to me in time. But what does that really mean? To a paranoid person it means that someone is lying to me. Some truth is being hidden from me!
And what does it mean by "in time?" Is it even possible to reveal something out of time? Can something be out of time? Not in the sense that there was a time deadline and it passed. Can something be separated from time? I don't think it can.
So basically all the fortune told me that there is a lingering lie (perhaps more than one) out there of which I am not aware.
There is a vague notion of hope that this truth will be revealed to me eventually, but there is no guarantee that it will be in my lifetime. I can see, in the future, my casket being lowered into the ground with my wife and kids standing next to the hole. "I was always disappointed in you," my wife would say. "I didn't think you were funny," my daughter would chime in. And my son would finish with, "It wasn't the cat that pooped on your pillow."
Or maybe I'll just get to heaven and find out. I'll be walking along some peaceful river and I'll meet God fishing on its bank. "Hey God," I would call out. "Hello, Michael," he would say pleasantly, waiting for a bite on his line. "You know, God," I would say, "I want to apologize for never reaching my full potential in life." "Oh it isn't your fault," he would say, "I didn't want you to succeed. I never really liked you."
I don't suppose it would do any good to contact the fortune cookie company and ask them for some specifics.
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1 comment:
Crackin' me up!! Any fortunes I ever get aren't really fortunes, but lousy "profound" sayings.
And how about your lucky numbers or the chinese word they try teaching you? It's like reading a dang book!
I suppose there has to be a fortune cookie company, huh? It's probably Nabisco or something. They must have a customer service number for those seeking clarification!
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