Letter 1.

So, the moment you have all been waiting for. The first letter. In truth this letter went out several days ago. Today I am on letter six. But I don't want to post the letters before they have had a chance to arrive so I think I will keep this week buffer.

Please feel free to comment on any aspect of these letters you would like. If you feel like they suck, say so.
LETTER 1.

Dear [adult swim],

You guys need me to write for you. All (most) of your shows are very funny, but they could still use a little bettering. I'm some funny, and some hip. I know who Lionel Richie is.

I don't know what show you need me to write for. I only know that it will pay really well and provide benefits. I got kids and a wife with a boyfriend. He has "needs" my current job doesn't "satisfy."

So my wife says, "You should work for Adult Swim."
And I say, "I wish."
And she says, "You're hilarious, and a great writer."
And I say, "They're not going to hire a loser like me."
And she says, "Have you seen their website?"

So before H5N1 claims my life, and perhaps everyone else's, let me leave behind something meaningful; something deep and everlasting like a cartoon. It ain't "I Had a Dream," but shit, this is cable.

signed

Ps. I did have a dream once, but it wasn't very good. I was Harry Potter, and I was naked. I hope that doesn't count against me.