The plan.

In case you haven't already guessed, I did not just decide to look for a job at Cartoon Network's Adult Swim last night. It has been a dream of mine for a couple of years, but I have supressed it the way I supressed any thought of being a writer. I didn't think it was possible, so I didn't pursue it. I didn't want to try and fail. Well, at this point in my life I'm not so concerned about failing. It couldn't be as bad as sitting on my ass hating my job.

So my current job is with the Georgia Department of Labor. For six years it was my duty to help people find work. It isn't now, but it was. My point is I understand how to find a job. I understand where to look, what tactics work and what tactics don't. The Adult Swim website says that if you are interested in a job with them you should check the Time Warner website. This tactic won't work.

This is not just a guess. I am pretty certain that it won't work. One of my reasons for this certainty is that I have tried the Time Warner website with no success. On a very rare occassion a job will be posted that looks remotely like it might have come from Adult Swim. On several of those occassions I put in my resume and guess what happened: nothing.

I am not saying the Time Warner website won't work for everyone. I'm sure it has a typical website success rate. But it hasn't worked for me. One of the reasons for this is that I don't have any on the job experience in writing. Now you are thinking, "Shit, man, why didn't you tell us this before?" And I respond, "Because."

I know I can do this job, I just have to be given the opportunity to prove myself. And as long as I submit resumes with no practical experience on them, I will get no response. Agreed? That is where the plan comes in.

Another reason the Time Warner website is not likely to work is that employers don't want to hire this way. They don't. They like to have such websites so they can tell people, "Go to our website," and thereby get you off their back. But they way they prefer to hire, in my experience, is to hire people they know. Barring that they hire people their friends and aquaintences know. Barring that they hire people they have heard of, and lastly they hire people they don't know. You would too. The Plan also covers this.

THE PLAN:

I have decided that every day, for a predetermined period of time, I am going to send a one page letter to Adult Swim. It is sort of like a courtship letter. In this letter I will attempt to be funny, and perhaps charming, and to convince the reader of the letter, day by day, to consider me for a job.

In an interview, one of the best tactics to use is to speak of yourself as though you are actually in the job. You say things like, "When I'm working here," instead of, "If I get a chance to work here." You say things like, "In this job I will," instead of, "When I worked a similar job..." The reason for this is it puts the image of you doing the job in the mind of the interviewer. The more they visualize you doing the job, the more they believe you can do the job. It is a very effective interviewing strategy. By sending these letters I'm hoping the reader will begin to visualize me as a writer.

I am also hoping to develop a kind a rapport with the reader. I am no fool. I know that this will be a completely one sided correspondence, but I still believe, if I am genuine, I can get bring them to a feeling of "knowing" me. And it doesn't really matter if they know me from Adam. If they "feel" like they know me, and they "feel" like I can write, well that's just as good.

At the end of the predetermined allotment of time I will send my portfolio. My portfolio is a rather large sampling of some of my best short stories and poems. My hope is that this tactic inspires the reader to accept and view my portfolio, and that said portfolio will solicit an interview. If I can get an interview I will consider this plan a success.

The danger with this plan is in getting them to bother opening the letters. If the letters are cast aside unread the Plan will fail. I will not stop trying, I will just have to think of another plan.