Cats

Is there something innate in cats that compels them to beat people at feats of speed and dexterity?

It never fails that when I am going up or down the stairs one of my cats will race past me. Then, just before they reach the top (or bottom) they turn around and look at me, as if to say, "Four legs are better. I have four legs. You have two. You suck."

On occasion I have tried to stop them, but they always shoot right past me. Sometimes I'm able to get my hands on a tail, but the cats always pull through and leave me with nothing but a handful of hair. And then they get to the bottom and instantly sit and groom the place that I mussed. One time, it seems like years ago, I actually caught one as he rocketed up the stairs. Triumphantly I walked him up to the top of the stairs and set him down at my feet. He sat with his back to me and looked over his shoulder. "This proves nothing!" he glared. And I knew he was right.

It's not just the stairs either. It seems the cats refuse to allow any person into a room first. If I'm heading to a room that a cat did not recently come out of, one of mine will fly into that room ahead of me, turn around and look at me. I know what he's thinking:

I'm first. You're second. First is better. You suck... Two legger.

With dogs it's different. When a dog goes into a room ahead of you it's to protect you from the unknown. The dog is selflessly throwing himself in harms way. So if something evil lurks in the darkness he will get attacked and you can get away.

Not so with cats. Cats know there is nothing evil in the next room. Why? Because cats play the statistics. They know that chances are there is nothing in your house more evil than they. And if there is something terrifying in the next room, your cats know that they will beat you out of that room and up the stairs and under the bed. And they will leave you and the dog to deal with the problem.