Stupid Morning

Everyone probably already knows I'm not very much for morning people. I am not one myself. Life doesn't begin until 10 or 11am. But today I learned that not only am I not a morning person, but I'm even less of a morning person when it is 90 degrees in my bedroom. Then I am what is known as a Morning Bastard.

I'd like to take this moment to apologize to my wife.

Sorry, Sweetie.

Review:
BROKEN AIR CONDITIONING UNIT
D -for Dammit

yesterday I came home and found a notice on my door that my gas had been turned off because I apparently owned the gas company a spleen. (I really thought I gave them my spleen last month.) then to add insult to injury I walked upstairs to change clothes and as I rose up the stairs I very quickly became aware of a problem. when I hit stair six my head got warm; very warm. stair seven: my shoulders were warm and my head was hot. stair eight: belly warm, shoulders hot, head an inferno!

I didn't have to look to know that my upstairs AC unit had crapped out. it was 96 degrees in my bedroom. I need to repeat that. it was 96 degrees in my bedroom. as I stood there and puzzled over the thermostat it rose to 97 - just in case I hadn't noticed that it was hot as *&%$.

and in my growing tidal wave of sweat I had a vision of the future. here I share with you what is my first, and perhaps my last fatidic.

Prediction:
I predict that in the very near future I will be writing a Review about how f-ing expensive HVAC repairs are, and how there is no reasonable way that an air pump can cost 2 grand.


Review:
GETTING THE KIDS TO SLEEP IN 90 DEGREES
B -for Bribing doesn't work.

kids know it is friggin hot. they aren't afraid to tell you. and they aren't afraid to look you straight in the eye and say, "Did you pay the Air Conditioner bill?" they also know the number to the Department of Family and Children Services and they aren't afraid to use it either. as badly as things went last night they will not go so well tonight, I think.


Review:
APOLOGIZING TO YOUR WIFE FOR NOT HAVING ANY MONEY SAVED FOR JUST SUCH AN EMERGENCY
O.H. -for Old Hat

when you work for the state government this is kinda your schtick.

me: I'm sorry.
her: I know.