Letter 20

I was going to explain this letter to you, but then I thought better of it. I didn't explain it to [adult swim], so why should you guys get any special favors.

I will, however, apologize for the ad. It is pretty lame.

LETTER 20:

Dear [adult swim],

I know that I should never succumb to the evil lure of advertisers and their blood money, but these people were paying so much. I am ashamed. But, I am ashamed with a pocket full of money. So today's letter is pretty much all advertisement. Enjoy, and buy their product.

signed

Ad:

Folks, we all know the truth. We're all honest, grown up adults here. And we like to pick our noses. Yes we do! We enjoy the feeling, no, the pleasure of accomplishment when we dig a good, mostly solid booger from the cavernous depths of our nasal passages. But how many of us are blessed with chronic sinusitis? Very few. The tragedy is most of us have to wait weeks in between each discovery of gold.

Well not now!

We at Acme Bodily Functions have invented the wave of the future. We call it, the Goober Dam Pill. Take this pill and within three hours your nose will begin to fill with the most pickable boogers you ever tasted. Easy to roll and easy to flick. Not too sloppy, and they won't stick to your finger forever. You'll get great distance with these Acme boogers, and the fun doesn't stop for twelve hours. Yes, that's right, twelve hours of a glacial like snot slide, seeping forth from your nose. You'd better pick 'em or it's "Jeronimo Booger!" and who knows where they'll turn up? It's hours of fun for everyone.

Act now and we'll throw in the bottle of fake boogers. You can roll and flick while you wait for the Goober Dam Pill to take effect. A $50.00 value, yours for free.

Just call 1-800-BLOODYFINGER for your order today.

Do not take the Goober Dam Pill while on antihistamines or any kinds of allergy medication. The Goober Dam Pill is a congestant. Do not take this pill with cold or flu symptoms. Do not take this pill if there is any change you might fall asleep within 12 hours. The Goober Dam Pill causes drowsiness. Goober Dam Pill may cause brain swelling and hair loss. Not recommended for anyone.

The Goober Dam Pill
From the makers of the
Mega Dump Laxative