halo/Letter 7

If you look back at the picture I posted yesterday you will notice a ring of light around my head. That is not my aura, though I do have one, mine is gold, though it is frequently highlighted with blue and pink, as signifies my perfect balance with this world. No, what you see in the picture is my halo.

I am not a spiritual leader as are most people with halos. I am a funny leader. My halo indicates I know the way to funny. But it is a long and sometimes difficult journey. I will take you there for $50.00.

note: I researched auras for that tiny little piece of writing. I like to be accurate. Turns out people that believe in auras consider the halo a kind of aura seen on spiritual leaders of significant power. Once or twice in my life I thought I saw an aura on someone. My eyes were probably just blurry from crying, because I'm really in touch with my emotions, but it could have been an aura.

Letter 7:

Dear [adult swim],

When I was little I used to pray that I would become a superhero. I know a lot of kids did this, but I knew the special way to pray it right. I haven't become a superhero yet, but that is because God is real busy. I tell you this so that you know, when my superhero powers come in I will have to quit whatever job I'm in and become a superhero.

I don't know what kind of powers I'll get, however. I never did specify.

I have this scar on my forehead from where I fell as a child. Technically I didn't fall. My sister pushed me down and my fall was broken by a brick. Now I have this centimeter long, slightly angled scar just over my left eye. It isn't really obvious to the casual observer, but it is there. And today I have this zit in just the right place underneath it so that it looks like an exclamation point on my face.

Ordinarily I would rationalize that no one would notice this abnormality, but all day long people have been saying that I look really peppy, excited even. I haven't felt any peppier than normal, but at least three people have told me I looked like I was in such a good mood. When I went to the bathroom just now I finally saw the punctuation mark on my head. Just call me exclamation man!

I suppose I could be Excited Man, but then I'd have to have some kind of footnote that said I was not "that kind of excited." I could be Excited, but not in a sexual way, Man! Or I could be Enthusiastic Man! My main power would be to psyche my enemies out by making them think I was more prepared than I actually was. Or I could annoy them with my "Go Getter" attitude.

There is a guy in our office who is an ex-Marine. He has the most positive attitude of anyone I've ever known. He walks around going, "Ooh-Ah!" all the time. And if you ask him how he is doing he says, "HIGHLY MOTIVATED! FANTASTIC! Just en-thusi-astic-about-the-day!" I can't really do justice to how positive he is. It would require the rest of my energy for the month.

If he were a superhero and I was a superhero, I'd have to be on the side against him.

signed
May 13, 2006