Coffee

Should coffee taste like pureed cardboard? I don't think it should.

The new secretary in our office makes the worst coffee in the world. I used to not really think about it. I thought coffee was coffee and the only way to make it taste better than horrible was to buy it at Starbucks. But when you do that you are not just paying with dollars. You are paying with calories.

Well, I was wrong. Apparently when one person puts coffee grounds into a filter and boils water over it, they do not necessarily get the same results as when someone else does the exact same thing. For example, when I make coffee it is a pretty typical hard dirty water flavor. But it is appreciable as coffee. When the new secretary makes it you would think you are drinking the boiled sweat of a dirt golem.

This coffee is the worst worst worst ever.

I personally would never consider firing someone for making horribly bad coffee. But I'm starting to think it might be a good reason to add to a list.

Department of Labor dude: Mr. Fleming, why did you fire Ms. Smith from her secretary position?

Me if I ever own my own company: Well, she couldn't alphabetize to save her life. She was always late for work. I warned her on three occasions. She routinely yelled at customers that they were talking too loudly when they were sitting quietly in the waiting room. She spoke to spirits. She kicked my father in the nuts. She stole $1000.00 from petty cash. And she made horrible coffee.

Department of Labor dude: Bad coffee? Really? Sounds like a bad apple to me.


The irony: I don't really like coffee. I only drink it because drinking a coke every morning was killing my teeth and making me fat.