Hands down, "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" is the worst Christmas song in the history of tonal music. It's the kind of song your friends sing loudly and obnoxiously just to tick you off.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out that it has been banned from being sung in heaven. I'd even go so far as to say that song, retroactively, is the reason Lucifer was kicked out of heaven. I bet Lucifer is one of those pranksters that pushes a joke that one step too far.
Lucifer: What do you mean I have to go live in a sea of fire?
God: Jesus tells me you won't quit bothering him.
Lucifer: Oh come on. It was a joke. You coddle that boy.
God: Don't tell me my business Luci. Jesus! Jesus, come here.
Jesus: What is it, pop?
God: Why am I banning Lucifer?
Jesus: Dad, I told you. He sang that song again.
Lucifer: Oh come on. Learn to laugh a little.
God: Lucifer. Jesus asked me to ban that song and so I did. And frankly I was glad to do it. That song is for shit and all humanity knows it.
Jesus: I could take the titty twister Lu, but that song. I hate it.
Beelzebub: What song?
Lucifer: Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time.
Beelzebub: Oh I love that one.
God: That's it. You're both out.
Beelzebub: What'd I do?
****
REVIEW:
SIMPLY HAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME:
for shit - and all of humanity knows it
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