And another thing

I just read that at least two people were stupid enough to drink hand sanitizer because it had alcohol in it. Jesus, people! I mean, let's forget about that fact that it was isopropyl alcohol. Even if it was drinkable...

IT'S MIXED IN WITH FREAKIN' HAND SANITIZER!

You know better than to eat soap! So why on earth would you eat hand sanitizer. Damn.

And the doctor that attended to one of the "victims" of this "error" said that hand sanitizer companies should be made to change their label so that people don't get confused.

What???

The manufacturers need to go further than to say:

WARNINGS
Fore external use only-hands.

And further down the row:

In case of accidental ingestion, seek professional assistance or contact a Poison Control Center immediately.

Well, no, no. I see my error. Let me correct myself. They should change their labels to read:

In case of accidental ingestion, or if you are retarded and you drank it on purpose, seek professional assistance...

But why don't they just say:

If you were planning on drinking this hand gel, and you are over 5 years old, then you are morbidly stupid. You need to have your brain stapled because it is clearly making some bad decisions. A cerebellum by-pass is the only alternative.


Ps. Now I have that hi-jacked version of "I'll Be There" song in my head. "And Jesus said... I'll be there. To love and comfort you. I'll be there.... "

I wonder what would happen if we added "Jesus said" to some other songs. Like a Smith's song.

Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a list of crime
My only weakness is ... well, never mind, never mind

Jesus said...
Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over