drugs

So I went to the bathroom a few minutes ago and as usual I checked under the stalls for feet. I guess I have been confronted too many times in the restroom with conversations from men sitting on the other side of the divide to feel comfortable going before I look. So I looked. There were no feet.

Then, as I was using the restroom, I heard a sniff. It seemed pretty distinct. So I leaned back, taking care where I was aiming, and looked under the stalls by way of the large mirror on the opposite wall. No feet. It must have been my imagination.

"Sniff," the sniff repeated. Then, "Sniff," it said again.

When I finished I bent over and took a good look under the stalls. No feet. So I washed my hands and left. But the whole incident reminded me of a time in college when one of my roommates took several Benedryl to try and relax and he began having auditory hallucinations of someone sniffing. So I tried to remember if I was on drugs.

After a quick recounting of all of the drugs I have ever taken: none. I decided that I must not be on drugs. Actually, that's not entirely true. Some would assert that alcohol is a drug. Ok, fine. And I have also taken prescribed drugs, but only in the way it was prescribed. And, of course, OTC drugs, as directed. But I have never taken anything just to get high. Except the alcohol. And if you count 'getting over a headache' as being high, then yes, that too.

I guess the reason I don't really take drugs is out of habit. I simply never have. It's the kind of thing you start in high school or in college. You don't really start a drug habit as an adult unless you're a doctor. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I had A LOT more access to drugs in school that I ever have as an adult.

In high school I knew the kids who did drugs and the kids who sold them. Most kids do.

And it's not like drugs were never offered to me. Cuz they were.

I don't know, maybe it's just marketing. But there's just something about an 18 year old sophmore with an acne riddle face and a head full of crisco soaked hair saying, "Last night I totally let my dog lick my balls for like... ten minutes while I watched David Letterman, smoked some weed and ate like... twenty pancakes. Then I totally dropped acid and had a threesome with Doug and some chick. Man we did her all kinds a ways. Then we all passed out and when I woke up the chick was gone and Greg was in bed with a wig on. And then I totally lucked out at my parole officer's... office, because I had to do a drug test, but I told him I had a stomach flu, and he made me take the test anyway, but then I puked all over the test and he got pissed and told me to just leave. Soooooooooooooooooo, you wanna go get high?"

...that makes me wanna say, "No. I'm good."