blue

Twelve thousand fifty three times I've spun around on this thing. It's enough to make you dizzy.

I'm thinking that this is going to be a good year.

I have always wanted to know what it would be like to have blue hair. If I ever found myself without need of a job, or in a job where business-professional wasn't the required demeanor, I would dye my hair blue. Vivid blue; Cobalt or Persian with lighter highlights.

In college I had long hair, halfway down my back, because I was totally a geek who thought he could pass as cool (it didn't work). Anyway, I dyed my hair purple with Cool-Aid. I used Cool-Aid because it was sort of a whim, and because I was told by a friend that it would wash out. My hair was purple for about a year.

The problem with dying your own hair is that if you have a color in mind you will totally be disappointed. Because, the fact is, you have no idea what you're doing. Your hair isn't just one color and, unless it is white, it will not come out the color of whatever mix you are using. I once tried to dye my hair blonde with a mix. But I didn't realize that there were some serious red undertones in my hair and I wound up with a coiffure of orange. But that is neither her nor there. I wanted totally purple hair; magenta even. What I got was a dark hair that shined purple. It was really purple in direct sunlight, but from a distance you couldn't tell.

When I finally do my hair blue, I want it to be FRIGGIN' BLUE. Maybe this year will be awesome enough to give me blue hair. It has to be soon. It's falling out a little too quickly for me to wait until retirement.

Nurse: Ok, gramps, how was your eightieth birthday?
Me with hoarse, crotchety voice: It was great, sweetie! I dyed my hair blue.
Nurse: But you're bald headed.
Me: Who said anything about my head?