Letter 8

Please forgive my absence. I was on the road over the weekend and I was nowhere near a computer. We went to visit my wife's grandparents in North Carolina, and they don't exactly keep up with modern technology.

The fake exploits of this visit will be laid bare in a future letter. I believe Letters 18 and 19 cover the things we did (or ficticiously did) in North Carolina.

Well, I still have not found my pen. I will have to buy myself a new set AGAIN! I don't really blame anyone but myself. And the pen I am currently using sucks. On a completely unrelated issue, I think I have carpel tunnel syndrome. I need to see a doctor.

Well, without further ado:

LETTER 8:

Dear [adult swim],

Please forgive me for not having a decent letter to send to you today. I was up until 2:30 last night and I am just thoroughly wiped out today. I should have been working on a letter to you, but I got distracted. It's all part of my competitive nature.

I was playing a simple game of War Craft 3 with a guy whose screen name was AmndaBynsRlz12. Anyway, I said hello all nice and polite like and he told me to shut up and that he was going to go all micro on me and finish this game up in two seconds.

So I said, "Bring it."
And he said, "Here it comes." And he wasn't just talking trash either, because he rushed me with his Blade Master and killed three of my peasants before I even had a hero up. So then he said, "I am the Gosu Master." And I said, "lol, you are the 'master' master?" (because Gosu is Korean for master).
And he said, "What do you mean?"
And I said, "You're an idiot."
And he said, "Tell it to your peasants," which was really quite clever.
And I said, "Kiss my ass."
And he said, "Hey, watch the language, I'm 9, and my mom won't let me play if you cuss."
And I said, "Oh, sorry."
And he said, "Newb," which really pissed me off.
And I said, "Your mother's a newb." And then I thought of how stupid that sounded so I said, "Except in bed."
And he said, "I don't get it," which was probably true if he was really just 9.

So then I attacked him with my hero and some men and he totally decimated me, and said, "See, I am the micro gosu."
And I said, "You are the micro penis."
And he said, "Stop, my mom could come back any second."

Back at my base I was busy trying to rebuild my army, but I knew he was coming and that I didn't stand a chance. I had two soldiers up when he hit my base with about 20 men. It was a pathetic slaughter. Then he said, "You should find an easier game to play, N00B!"
And I said, "Kiss my ass, you little f-er."

He stopped playing for a few seconds and he wasn't controlling his army. then he said, "My mom's making me quit because you wouldn't stop cussing." Then he disconnected and I got credit for the win.

At first I felt bad for being such a bad example of sportsmanship. But then I realized that win levelled me up, so I thought, "Eat it, AmndaBynsRlz12."

signed

Ps. So anyway, I forgot to write you. Sorry.