A little note, a littler note, and Campaign 3 Begins!

I have told you, on more than one occasion, about my lack of posts from visitors. I believe I also mentioned that of the posts I have received I'm fairly certain that a good deal of them are fake. I have successfully found a way to stop commercial spam. I just review every post before it posts. However, I have received many posts that are not commercial, but they are so generic that they cannot be real. My theory is that Blogger has a program that sends out "sympathy mail" to losers like me who aren't cool enough to elicit real posts. For example, last night when I went to bed my Visitor Counter showed 42 hits. I got 4 posts over night, all of them relatively generic, and I still show only 42 hits. And as sad as this sounds I don't want to delete the posts, even though they are obviously fake, because my ego needs to see that I have viewers. Even the imaginary kind. But should I decide that I am tired of the fake posts I may have to activate the word verification so that only real posts get through.

....

Because many of the letters of campaign 3 could be significantly longer, and because I know your attention span is abysmal, I may, at times, just post a letter with no commentary. I will, however, still post the picture for you to look at. Today's post is accompanied by two pics. I couldn't decide which color outfit I liked best, so I sent both.

....

Letter 1,

Dear [adult swim],

You don't love me. I haven't written in over two months and you haven't said a thing. Did you even notice?

You don't owe me anything. I know. That was the rule from day one. Still, I thought we were going somewhere.

The effects are deep.

I almost had a gay dream the other night. I was in bed and there was this man... he must have been a doctor. I don't know why he wasn't wearing a white jacket, or any clothes at all for that matter.

Anyway, I'm not saying you are responsible for my dreams. I can totally go lucid whenever I want. And I'll give myself angel wings and a ninja sword. And probably huge girl boobs. But only for a second. Then I'll go back to my normal boobs, which are totally rock hard and covered with hair.

My point is I'm responsible for my own destiny. And I think it's time you hired me.

signed
August 1, 2006

Ps. please.

Pps. Do you need a show about a guy with wings and boobs? I think you do. I'll throw in the ninja sword for free.