Voices on the Elevator

About four or five months ago the facilities department of the building where I work added a voice to the elevator telling you what floor you were on, and it what direction you were heading. "Second floor, going up."

The voice is a pleasant woman's voice, but I was wondering what would happen if they had chosen different voices. There are four elevators in the building, so four different voices could have been used.

I think it would be a neat experiment to see if one elevator got ridden over another, if different voice types had been chose. For example, one elevator could have a female voice that was bitchy and nagging. "You're on the third floor. Are you going to make a floor selection, moron, or are we going to sit here all day?" And another could be a woman with a sexy, inuendo soaked voice. "You're on the second floor, baby. Do you want me to go up, or down," or, "I need you to push my buttons, if you want me to move." The male voice could be similar, but using language that women find appealing and/or revolting.

The appealing man would say, "I'm ready for a commitment, beautiful. Let me carry you away to your floor." Or, "I paid the phone bill. What floor do you want." And the revolting voice would say things like, "You don't love me. Stop hanging out with your friends and make me some dinner. And while you're at it, choose a damn floor." "Or, I don't think you're cut out for this job, woman. What floor do you want to fail on today?"

My experience says that more women will ride the revolting elevator than the appealing one.

Or we could forget about gender roles and just put billigerent voices on all of them. I wonder how quickly people would switch to the stairs.

"What floor do you want, dammit?"

"Pick a floor before I drop us both to the basement."

"Hurry up and get on. I ain't got all damn day!"

"Didn't I just come from the second floor? Where the hell were you?"

"One floor down? Just one floor? You know, it wouldn't hurt that ass to climb a stair or two."

Or how about this beauty: "I haven't been inspected in six months. I'm not saying you're in danger, but..."