Cereal

When I am doing really well with my diet and controlling what I eat my breakfast consists of exactly 1 cup of Total cereal and 3/4 cup of skim milk. But when I get lazy or terribly hungry I skip the measuring tools and just pour. And when I run out of Total I don't mind so much eating the kids Honey Nut Cheerios. It's is good for your heart. Well today we were also out of Cheerios so all we had were Apple Dapples, which is the Kroger brand knock-off of Apple Jacks. I usually call them Crapple Jacks.

Anyway, apparently this cereal has a real developed sense of irony because when I measured out 1 cup of it, it sniggered. Then when I poured in 3/4 cup of skim milk it burst into laughter. My cereal was laughing at me. Then, because I care about what I eat, I sliced up half a banana into the cereal. And as soon as the first slice of banana hit my breakfast started laughing so hard that it actually grew a nose and shot all of my milk out it's nostrils.

Well that just happened to be the last of my skim milk. So I cleaned up the mess on the counter and poured in some regular 2% milk, which is what the kids drink. As soon as I did the nose that was in my cereal shot marshmallows out of it's nostrils and disappeared.

It tasted delicious.

On the way to work I had ten heart attacks.