Letter 3

Dear [adult swim]

I picked up the phone to call for a pizza last night and I over heard the last of a phone conversation.

"Did you get the oils and lotions I sent?" a man's voice asked.
-sigh- "Yes, I got them," a voice strangely reminiscent of my wife's said.
"Why haven't you used them?"
"How do you know I haven't?"
"Because," he said, "These lotions are special."

I looked over at the kitchen table and saw the basket of lotions. They looked fairly unspectacular to me.

"Oh really?" she asked. "How are they special?"
"Well, I got them from an old gypsy woman and she did this hocus pocus nonsense on them. And, if she wasn't lying to me, then when you rub the oil on your skill I'll know it."
"Is that so?" she said coyly.
"That's what the gypsy said. She said as you rub your body I'll be able to taste you."

I looked over at the oils on the table. Then it occurred to me that I had a free hand.

I probably shouldn't detail the rest of the conversation, but I will share these three phrases:

1. Hey baby, where exactly are you rubbing that?
2. Oh God! That's not the front.
3. I can't stop tasting it.

Michael
February 25, 2007

Ps. There's still plenty of oil if you want some.